What if the Jalopnik Editors Had Personalized Kinja Handles?

"Jcarr" (jcarr)
10/14/2015 at 12:08 • Filed to: None

One advantage we plebes have in the Kinjaverse is that we can create whatever handle we like. Instead of John Doe and Jane Smith, we have colorful names like TheHondaBro, HammerheadFistpunch, Yamahog, and many others. Many of these names reflect an interest or personality trait of the owner.

What if the Jalopnik (and subblog) authors were to do this? What might their handles be? They’re listed below, so go ahead and come up with your best ideas in the comments.

Matt Hardigree

Patrick George

Michael Ballaban

Jason Torchinsky

Máté Petrány

Raphael Orlove

Aaron Brown

Doug Demuro

Chris Harris

Kat Callahan

Andrew Collins

Tyler Rogoway

Stef Schrader

Sean MacDonald

Alanis King

Nicole Conlan

Michael Roselli

Travis Okulski

DISCUSSION (38)

yamahog > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 12:12

Stef Schrader - Porschelump!

Jcarr > yamahog
10/14/2015 at 12:13

I hope it’s alright that I used you as an example. Just trying to think of some of the best ones off the top of my head.

crowmolly > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 12:14

Alanis King

Alanis Morissvette

Margin Of Error > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 12:14

Roberto A, B, C, D, G, etc

not for canada - australian in disguise > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 12:15

Doug DeMuro - R32RangeHummer

Tom McParland > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 12:15

In a previous blogging life here on Jalopnik/Oppo I was Automatch...then my account got Kinja’d and I became Automatch the Avanthusiast, then as business started to grow I was Automatch Tom. One day I got hired by Jalopnik as a freelance writer and had to use my real name :(

EL_ULY > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 12:15

EL_( insert editor name )

HammerheadFistpunch > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 12:17

Matt Hardigree - Hardibird

Patrick George - PG13

Michael Ballaban - Supriseeyes

Jason Torchinsky - ItsATorchinskyMoment

Máté Petrány - TheContential

Raphael Orlove - Orloved

Aaron Brown - BDW

Doug Demuro - PLaysWithCars

Chris Harris - HarrisMoneky

Kat Callahan -

Andrew Collins - TruckNutz

Tyler Rogoway - Paveway

Stef Schrader - RallyChicken

Sean MacDonald

Alanis King

Nicole Conlan

Michael Roselli

Travis Okulski - AWOL

Garrett Davis > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 12:17

Here are my propositions for their new handles:

Matt Hardigree —> Patrick George

Patrick George —> Raphael Orlove

Michael Ballaban —> Chris Harris

Jason Torchinsky —> Doug Demuro

Máté Petrány —> Matt Hardigree

Raphael Orlove —> Aaron Brown

Aaron Brown —> Michael Ballaban

Doug Demuro —> Kat Callahan

Chris Harris —> Stef Schrader

Kat Callahan —> Travis Okulski

Andrew Collins —> Máté Petrány

Tyler Rogoway —> Jason Torchinsky

Stef Schrader —> Doug Demuro

Sean MacDonald —> Doug Demuro

Alanis King —> Doug Demuro

Nicole Conlan —> Doug Demuro

Michael Roselli —> Doug Demuro

Travis Okulski —> Doug Demuro

Tom McParland > HammerheadFistpunch
10/14/2015 at 12:19

Kat Callahan - JDMlopnik

yamahog > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 12:19

No worries, I’m flattered :)

Cherry_man1 > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 12:19

My Ideas for a few:

Matt Hardigree - Hardi Bird

Patrick George - Hail to the King

Michael Ballaban - Balla

Jason Torchinsky - The Torch

Raphael Orlove - Baja Bugger

Doug Demuro - I Love CarMax

Chris Harris - HarrisMonkey

Stef Schrader - Puff Racer

Sean MacDonald - Old MacDonald

Jcarr > HammerheadFistpunch
10/14/2015 at 12:20

Kinja'd!!!

HammerheadFistpunch > Tom McParland
10/14/2015 at 12:23

You aren’t on the list, but you’ve already have been down that road before Automatch Tom

HammerheadFistpunch > Cherry_man1
10/14/2015 at 12:25

OOOH, I change my Patrick George one to KingRickGeorge

HammerheadFistpunch > Margin Of Error
10/14/2015 at 12:25

Which one are you today?

Margin Of Error > HammerheadFistpunch
10/14/2015 at 12:31

Roberto HammerheadFistpunch

Dusty Ventures > crowmolly
10/14/2015 at 12:31

Alanis Morevette

Your boy, BJR > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 12:31

Tavarish -> Freddy Hernandez

Luke's Dad Sold His 2000TL To Get a Sienna > Tom McParland
10/14/2015 at 12:32

I’m honored to have been on Oppo during the era of Automatch.

Dusty Ventures > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 12:32

Raphael Orlove - Cars, They are Us

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Cherry_man1
10/14/2015 at 12:35

Stef should be Rally Duck

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 12:36

Stef Schrader - Rally Duck

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Margin Of Error
10/14/2015 at 12:49

Wait, are you actually Roberto G?

CalzoneGolem > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 12:50

It would simply be $TheirInitials & “moe”

Jcarr > Tom McParland
10/14/2015 at 12:53

I remember Automatch Tom from the beginning of my time around here. You’ve gone full circle.

Margin Of Error > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
10/14/2015 at 12:54

I wish I were such a legendary figure, but I’m fairly certain he’s Autovox

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 13:13

Matt Hardigree - Hardibro

Patrick George - Camero

Michael Ballaban - Sir O’Ballaban

Jason Torchinsky - TorchBugOrigins

Máté Petrány - Am I French or Eastern European?

Raphael Orlove - Raoul Orlove

Aaron Brown - The Brown Note

Doug Demuro - Doge Demuro

Chris Harris - Harris Monkey

Kat Callahan - Asian Correspondent

Andrew Collins - Andrew Colorado Truck Bro Craft Beer

Tyler Rogoway - Knows Planes

Stef Schrader - Steffalumps’s Lady Lumps

Sean MacDonald - Sean EndoDonald

Alanis King - Alanis Motorsports Queen King

Nicole Conlan - Sometimes I’m here

Michael Roselli - The New Guy

Travis Okulski - Tarvis Oblunder

TheHondaBro > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 13:16

Jason Torchinsky - xXNiPPLes420Xx

Jcarr > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman
10/14/2015 at 13:26

I actually—as the kids say—lol’d at “Camero”. It’s so perfect.

pjhusa > Jcarr
10/14/2015 at 13:49

We also have

dick saplenti

HammerheadFistpunch > Your boy, BJR
10/14/2015 at 13:52

Just a heads up: even though his info is out there, he still chooses to go by an alias and so even if he is okay with his real name being know we need to be careful not to disclose others “secret identities”...I’m batman.